When the “Haters” come, not IF

As the #STARTexp continues I could not help but laugh at today’s message:

Day 15: “Ignore a Hater Day”

Today is national “Ignore a hater day.”

Oh, you didn’t know? That’s because I just invented it. Today, I want you to ignore one hater you’ve bumped into in the last week. Don’t respond to their tweet or Facebook comment. Don’t answer their angry email. Don’t jump in the mud with them. Ignore them and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a little less negativity in your day.

How many of us have been in a place where we are focusing on achieving the great things in our lives, when out of nowhere someone comes along and tells us that we will not succeed? They tell us that we were not meant for greatness. It is not when the haters make themselves known that we should quit. It is when the haters appear that we should run all the harder towards the prize.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

This verse from the Bible has always sticks in my mind…especially at the point when the haters come…because they always come. I have allowed them to knock me off my course too many times in my life.  I’ve allowed those with selfish intentions to stand between me and the prize. We cannot allow this to continue.

We were created for a purpose. The great things that we were created to accomplish should not be allowed to go undone because someone with negative intent is allowed to stand in our way.

So here is the question that we all struggle to answer.

How do I ignore the haters in the world when their words of doubt and failure are echoing in my head already?

We must understand that often times in our lives our largest hater is us.

Yep. The largest hater we will probably face is ourselves.

I had a boss years ago that used to say that the stories that we tell ourselves are rarely true.

Self Talk is a powerful tool and a vicious enemy. How we see ourself can be beneficial or detrimental to the purpose we are seeking to accomplish.

I don’t know what your goal is today. I do not know what your race looks like, but I do know we have a race. I want to give us 3 rules of dealing with the haters outside our mind and then I want to give us 3 rules to dealing with the haters inside our mind.

First, let us deal with the social media friends and haters that are around us every day, including our peers. These are the people who find it their personal goal to tear down the people around  them.

  1. Use the delete button freely– I will admit this is easier to do via social media but it also applies to the conversations that we have with people around us. Read it once, look for truth, and then delete. Don’t allow negativity to take up residence in our mind. In the true human dynamic we have to be a little more forward thinking. When we have identified the haters around us, we must stay away from them. If there is “That Guy” in the office that is always spouting doubt and discord it is our job to get away from it.
  2. Use it  as motivation– There are some people that thrive on haters. “Let them come,” “I’ll show them,” “Nothing will stop me,” are the mantras of those that thrive on this.  It may not be your natural state of mind, but I encourage us to use it to our advantage.  Allow those that want to distract us from our purpose to become a rallying point to push us on to great new things. The launching ground for our new company, new book, professional success, social outreach, or any other dream we may have.
  3. Ignore and shut the haters up– The third, and in my opinion, the most rewarding of methods is to work on achieving success everyday so that the haters are left with little to talk about. Run towards the prize. Run past the haters,  run through them, around them, or over them, but do not stop running. It is when we stop running the race that the haters win. Do not allow small-minded and ignorant people to stand between us and our purpose. Do not give credence to their view points by allowing it to knock you off course.

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Now how do I deal with the voices in my head?

  1. Write out your success – When the self talk begins it is rarely positive. We have to become our own Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, John Maxwell, or whoever it is that motivates us. There comes a point where we cannot rely on others and we must change the self talk ourselves. So sit down with a pen and paper and write out what you are doing well. Keep it positive. This is not a brainstorming or planning session. This is a time to brag to the voices in your head! You are amazing and it is time the haters in your mind knew it.
  2. Put a voice to the self talk and find the truth – This one is a fine line. Self talk, even negative self talk, can often have in it a grain of truth, but it is often exaggerated one way or another.  Jot down, tell someone, or record what the self talk is and then find the truth. Not the looping mantras that we play in our heads, but the real truths that allow us to constructively grow. Use it to make ourselves better and move ahead.
  3. Stop – There are times where we need to slow and stop what we are doing just long enough to take control over what is happening in our own minds. There are times that we are trying to run past the thoughts only, for them to run with us and grow in intensity. Don’t be afraid to speak directly to the self talk and tell it who is boss as the old saying goes. This is our mind. We are in control. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves just who is in control.

I encourage us to move beyond the doubt and fear. We must Chase our dreams and not let anyone or anything stand in the way. Walk boldly and with confidence. You and I were created for greatness and don’t let anyone stand in the way of the prize.

I will leave us with this Steve Jobs quote, may it bring joy and motivation to shut up the haters and achieve greatness today and in the days to come:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”





2 thoughts on “When the “Haters” come, not IF

  1. Brenda Lane-Oliver

    Great Blog! Had me going for a minute!! There will be toxic people who make you feel less than worthy, but you have to love and appreciate yourself. Daily affirmations and meditation is my cure. My new book, Creating the Million Dollar Leader (11/2013) addresses some of these issues.

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